This Way Up: The Tenchi Muyo Collection
by Calico Yorki
Summary: The anime that got me into anime. Always going up. Various stories concerning Tenchi Masaki, his intergalactic harem, his perverted dad, his awesome grandpa, and much, much more! Rated T to be safe. Chapter Three up! Oh my gawd am I mistaken I must be.
1. Chapter 1: Fight Circumvented!

"Ummmmm...Hey Ryoko?"

"Yes~ Tenchi~?"

"Oh, uh, nevermind."

"Hmmm. Why don't you stop playing with those carrots? I can tell you had a question, my love~!"

"Heeeh...First of all, every vegetable I don't pick is less for us to eat. Second, it was a stupid question - Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Oh, come on...You can ask me anything! You need to be open to your future wife~!"

"Hrmph. Please, don't start being a pester about this Ryoko."

"_Huh_?"

"What now?"

"_Who's_ being a pester? _I'm_ not!"

"Oh boy, here we go..."

"Well, I'm _**sor~ry**_ for wanting us to be open with eachother! I didn't know you wanted to have such a _veil_ of _mystery_ surrounding you, Mr. Man!"

"Heeeh..."

"_Please_ excuse me for just wanting to have an answer to something that's bugging you, Tenchi! I'm sorry for wanting to help, I guess I'll just go on my merry way and - !"

"**Alright. Do you really want to hear what I had to ask so badly?**"

"Um, _yeah_. Duh."

"Alright...I just wanted to ask...You know how you were created from Washu's DNA and the...Whatever of those Mass-things?"

"...Uh-huh. I'm with you so far."

"Well...The ears I get, maybe...But what's up with the _tail?_"

"..."

"..."

"...?"

"..."

"Uh...Ryoko, did I ask something that's...?"

"Oh, no, it's just...I don't know why, myself. I'll...Have to ask Washu."

"...Okay."

"...Yeaaah..."

"...Well, I think that's enough carrots for some nice stew."

"Oh. Oh! Alright, some grub!"

"Heh...Glad that passed quickly."

"What passed where when?"

"It's just...I like you better when you're...I don't know, more 'outgoing'? Would that be the right word, you think?"

"...Heheh!"

"Huh?"

"Nothing! I'll see you back at home!"

"Hey! Don't fly away like that after confusing me! _Ryoko!_"


	2. Chapter 2: Nocturnal Shenanigans

It was quiet. Yes, _very_ quiet in Washu's lab. Analyzing data from her latest experiment, Washu fiddled with one of her hair spikes in deep thought. It would be interesting to see what these studies could produce, but Earth probably wasn't ready for quasi-dimensional oil drilling. Alas, alas - Poor dumb earthlings.

"Well, time to see what random anime's on now." Washu leaned her face in the palm of her hand, sighing as she flipped on a nearby screen with a press of a button. Death Note again. She already knew that they killed Light, so no point in that. Grumbling, Washu turned the T.V. off and got up. She said, "It might be fun to experiment on Tenchi, now..." At that thought, an impish grin unfurled on her face like the wings of a demon. However, just as Washu was about to run off and kidnap him, she detected a sound.

_... ... ..._

_...Huk...Huk...Sniff, ugh..._

Washu frowned. _Who the hell's crying in my lab?_ It was the middle of the night - This was supposed to be _Washu's_ time for nocturnal shenanigans. Who on Earth - ...Maybe not the best phrasing, considering the vast array of inhabitants to the Masaki household. Who _the devil_ would be crying in Washu's lab, of all places? And when she hadn't even done anything to them, either! Well, she _had_ heard some kind of thunk earlier, but knew that Mihoshi was probably just screwing around and -

...

"...Mihoshi, huh~?" Washu scratched at her chin as she hunted her quarry by the sound of sobs and hiccups. From the restraint, it sounded like Mihoshi didn't want to be heard...Too bad that Washu was master of this domain. Finally, Washu could tell that she was getting close to the location. Just around this corner, and...

Arms crossed, Washu just stood there and stared at what she saw before her. Mihoshi was laying on the ground about a foot away from a strung out cord, trying to soothe what looked like a sprained ankle without hurting it worse. And it looked like she was hurting it worse. Unable to tolerate the depressing sight any longer, Washu cleared her throat loudly.

Jumping, Mihoshi turned and said, "I...I'm sorry, Washu...I got lost and I, and I...Tripped." She sniffled, rubbing at her eyes in an attempt to regain her composure. And to Washu's expectations, she only ended up tearing up more.

"...Oh, give me a break." Washu quickly took out a tube she had brought with her just in case on the investigation, kneeling down beside Mihoshi's injured ankle. Igoring Mihoshi's squeak of fear, Washu cranked out some kind of pale blue-green medicine and proceeded to apply it to the ankle. Mihoshi squinted her eyes in expectation of the pain, but soon opened her eyes as she felt a cool, soothing sensation spread. Getting back up, Washu capped the medicine and put it back in her pocket.

Mihoshi started to tear up again, saying, "Th...Thank you, Washu...I'm...I'm sorry...Sorry that...Sorry that I..." She gulped, but couldn't spit it out. As Washu crossed her arms again, Mihoshi continued to struggle with her tied tongue, continually failing at finishing her statement.

"It's fine," Washu said in an attempt to end the crying. Noting Mihoshi's still-present tears, Washu said in a softer voice, "Really, it's okay...Now come with me." Kneeling down, Washu looped an arm around Mihoshi's back and hoisted her up. Like that, the two slowly made their way to one of Washu's consoles.

Tapping a few keys, Washu summoned up a seat for Mihoshi beside her own. As the blonde girl sat down, Washu flipped a couple of switches on the underside of the console, causing some kind of machines to flip out for herself and Mihoshi. Sitting down beside a confused Mihoshi, Washu pulled the Playstation 3 controller out completely. As Mihoshi gave a surprised look, Washu smiled to her in a challenging way.

"...I'd like to have an opponent in _BlazBlue_, for once. Now, you see this button with the square? That one's..."


	3. Chapter 3: The Come From Nowhere Winner

It was a lovely day. Truly, truly, so _very_ lovely at the Masaki Household. For once, Ryoko and Ayeka had opted to avoid open warfare and were instead just content to glare at eachother whenever the other entered the room. All the little creatures were at peace, and the sun shone beautifully.

"Ah," Kamidake said at the gate. "Truly a wonderful spring day." Though he couldn't actually nod, it was sure that Azaka would if he had a head and neck. Or any limbs at all. They're both logs, as you know, but that is neither here nor there.

Azaka said, "Indeed, my old friend. A day of happiness in peace is worth a hundred days of happiness in chaos." Both gave a 'Hmmm' in agreement, watching a bird's nest with their eyes...Gems...Eye gems.

However, suddenly, Katsuhito looked up from his cup of tea. "Hmmm..." he said, as he heard a cry from somewhere in the house that sounded suspiciously like Little Washu. "There's a storm a-comin'!" He chuckled; Katsuhito had wondered how long after the final battle with Z it would take for the girls to realize it..."Life has mountains and valleys," he said to no one in particular. "This too, shall pass - I hope the girls don't get too upset when Little Washu delivers the news..." Katsuhito shrugged, before taking a sip of tea.

...

The many girls of the Masaki household spent the peaceful day their own separate methods. Kiyone had made a rare visit, and was trying to organize files. Ayeka and Sasami were enjoying some tea. Mihoshi and Ryoko, meanwhile, were doing what they were wont to do: Lay about and act as general ne'er-do-wells. This was not to last too much longer, though...

A few seconds, and...

**"GYAAAAAHHH! EVERYONE, I'M COMING UP! THIS IS **_**URGEEENNNT!**_**"**

At Washu's declaration blaring through the house, everyone jumped; Ryoko nearly fell off of her personal rafter and barely managed to take a hover and avoid falling. With a loud clamor, Washu slammed the door open from her lab and staggered out - Everyone was too shocked by her obvious distress to show anger.

Washu said in a desparing tone, "I was looking over that last battle with Z, and everything that happened after...And I watched the counter-actor; Ayeka and Sasami's mother, Misaki I think...It's terrible, terrible!" She nearly fell and it was up to a dumbstruck Ryoko to catch her.

Kiyone said, "Ummm...Okay, I'll bite. What's this 'terrible' thing that you've discovered?" She blinked at a borderline tearful Washu looking up at her. The bright red-pink haired woman rubbed her eyes, before speaking.

"...Ayeka," she said. When Ayeka nodded, Washu said, "It's been said you were engaged to Tenchi, you have the royal bloodline that he shares, and he gladly took you and Sasami in when you two were stranded..." As Ayeka nodded again, Washu finished: "Has he ever kissed you?" Ayeka gave a start before shaking her head with an incensed expression. Washu nodded, before turning to Mihoshi.

"Mihoshi, Tenchi put himself in danger to save you and gave you a place to stay," she said. As Mihoshi gave a happy nod, Washu said, "...But no kiss?" At Mihoshi's curious shaking of her head, Washu nodded. Finally, she looked up at Ryoko, who had let go of her at Ayeka's interview.

"Ryoko, dear. You've loved Tenchi since he was a boy, and you've both risked your lives for eachother countless times - Maybe even moreso than the other girls," she said. Ryoko nodded proudly, about to make a boast, but Washu's next statement took the wind out of her sails: "But I take it he never kissed you, either." Ryoko's crossed arms and pout were all the answer needed.

Washu nodded. "The same goes for all of us," she said. "We're all incredibly close to Tenchi...But none of us have gotten a kiss. However, there is _one girl_ I saw who was kissed by him." Everyone's faces showed some form of surprise or shock. Washu gave a weak sigh, before making the statement.

"Girls...Tenchi kissed Misaki Masaki Jurai after he got her to stop trying to kill Tokimi."

And at that, everyone short of Kiyone and Sasami were petrified. Suddenly, the door could be heard opening, and Tenchi's voice shouted: "I'm back from the fields! Anything happen while I was gone?" Ayeka, Ryoko and Mihoshi couldn't handle anymore and fell down. Washu finally broke down in tears and ran back into her lab. Sasami sighed and attempted to rouse Ayeka. And Kiyone could only make one monotonous statement:

"Kissing a woman that much older than him _and_ the mother of one of the girls crushing on him...Seriously, that's just in bad taste."

**~ OMAKE ~**

Misaki smiled, laying dreaming beside her husband. "Tenchi...I can't wait to visit again..."

Meanwhile, Azusa lay in bed beside her, surrounded by a rippling aura of pure darkness.

"Tenchi Masaki, if you take anyone else from me, I will have your head mounted in this very room_. _**I. Am. The.**_** Emperor.**_"


End file.
